I'm Going To Quit Going To Costco

A Utah Costco took tomatoes off the shelves during a visit by Sarah Palin, after the Alaska Governor was pelted with the fruit on a stop at the Mall of America.

A lady stopped by the Salt Lake City Costco to do some shopping, unaware that Palin was scheduled to be there for a book signing. Unable to find any tomatoes, she was told by a clerk that there were no tomatoes that day.

No tomatoes? At Costco?

As she was leaving, she noticed a man with a store manager's name tag and asked him why they had no tomatoes. He informed her the store did have tomatoes, but they were taken off the shelves while the quitter was there.

It turns out that Palin had been pelted with a tomato at an earlier stop on her book tour and the management at the Costco was determined it wouldn't happen here.

Gee, I hope I don't go to Costco the day Glenn Beck does his book signing. I wont be able to buy a super-sized box of donkey assholes.

P.S. her tongue sure looks crooked!

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Sarah Palin Shits on Kennewick, Washington

Breaking: Sarah Palin Quits Turkey Trot 5K Race In Kennewick, Washington

Sarah Palin dropped out of a 5k race on Thanksgiving Day in Kennewick, Wash. The former vice presidential candidate and Alaska Governor quit the race because she wanted to avoid the crowds that were waiting for her at the end.

Palin originally announced that she would be running the race on Twitter.

Fuckin Twitter Quitter..

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Levi Johnston To Pose Nude For Gay Mag!

Sarah Palin�s least-favorite almost-son-in-law Levi Johnston will not vanish from the public eye, ever! He�s doing a photoshoot for a magazine called Playgirl, which, despite its gender specific name, is actually a site for gay men who like to look at photographs of other men, naked. There is nothing wrong with this, just ask the Alaska Family Council! And, you know, I am pretty happy that of the two unlikely Wasilla-based media sensations of September 2008, Sarah Palin is now an unemployed twitterer and baby maker Levi Johnston is the celebrity of September 2009. Who could�ve predicted it?

Palin Pisses on Loren Leman, Alaska Family Council, and Pregnant Teens

Meg Stapleton, spokeswoman for an increasingly fragile and erratic unemployed publicity hound, had to once again explain at the very last minute how Sarah Palin would not be headlining an event that the event organizers thought she would be headlining.

This time it�s an event promoting an Alaska ballot measure aimed at making it illegal for teens to get an abortion without telling their parents. The Alaska Family Council has been advertising that Palin would give a speech and become the first official signer of the ballot petition tonight at ChangePoint, the Anchorage megachurch.

Meg Stapleton said Wednesday, in response about tonight�s event, that �this is the first we have ever heard of a speech.� She said Palin is out of state and won�t be there.

Anchorage homes received automated calls this week from former Lt. Gov. Loren Leman, saying, "I'm calling to ask you to meet with Gov. Sarah Palin and me this Thursday for an event to protect young girls facing abortion decisions."

I guess she is too busy writing her new book "How to take out Obama's Nazi-Socialist Death Panels from a Helicopter"

Bye Bye Bitch

Sarah "I'm not a quitter" Palin resigns 1 1/2 years before her term ends. She claims that she has become "Blood Sport" for the press. Well Sarah, maybe you now know how it feels to be a moose or bear killed from a helicopter, Bitch!

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