The 12 Gays of Christmas

this is so cool!.. watch it in full screen.

I Love My New Stereo!

Thanks Santa!

Decorating the Tree

My Christmas Wish

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Mele Kalikimaka

I guess this package sums-up the year. I tried to make it nice and white but blood got spilt in the process...

Don't tell Santa

Christmas Balls

I Need a New Teddy Bear!

My last one ran away the day after xmas!

A Christmas Story

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Decorating the House for Xmas

Zooey Elf

It's Time to put up the Xmas Lights!

What I want for Xmas!

It's Getting Close to Christmas

Time for all ladies to dress in see-through nightgowns..



Yummy! Come here and give me some sugar...

Things I learned this Christmas holiday�

1. I always end up with the least amount of gifts. ALWAYS
2. It never seems like the holidays when you live in Hawaii. It�s just too warm.
3. Israel always has a shooting war with the Palestinians during Christmas. I think they do it because they know the Christians aren�t paying attention.
4. The same relatives always send their Christmas gifts late. Maybe we should drop Christmas and just celebrate New Year�s instead.
5. Every time I hear �Kwanzaa� I think of a �Quonset Hut�
6. Nobody wants fruit cakes anymore.

Merry X-mas Bitches!

Your present this year is this photo of the beautiful Doris MayDay.

Just for fun click on the "Christmas" tag below to see some of my greatest holiday postings from the last few years.

Mele Kalikimaka! and PEACE

Christmas Gift Idea #4

Especially popular with gay men!

Worst Christmas Album's Ever

This is the most annoying Christmas album ever. Send it to someone you hate.



This feature a Moog synthesizer before anyone knew how to play it. Guaranteed to make you rush to the bathroom.



This kid's voice is sooo annoying, you'll just want to strangle him!

Christmas Gift Idea #3

Christmas Gift Idea #2

Get Well Bettie!

We all love you!

Christmas Gift Ideas #1

David Bowie and Bing Crosby

Here is David Bowie and Bing Crosby doing their thing on Bing's X-mas show.

I got this Xmas card from Grorge Bush

I was afraid to open it!

Elves get much needed rest

Elves being put in storage for next year's toy making

44 Suspicious Packages Detonated Under White House Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas to all my terrorist friends!

Let's see... Naughty or Nice, Naughty or Nice

Tell me it ain't so!

Elf after a hard days work at the toy factory

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Direct Line to Santa's Elves.

Make Your Requests Now!

http://www.zefrank.com/directline/

Happy Holly-Mollie Day!

Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear After Your Office Christmas Party

10. "Man, you are one horney son-of-a-bitch."
9. "I've never seen anyone drink so much Xerox toner."
8. "You've got messages from your wife, her lawyer, the ASPCA, and both Siegfried and Roy."
7. "Hey, dude, thanks for the kidney."
6. "Thanks to you, now I know I'm gay."
5. "Hey, dude, thanks for your other kidney."
4. "You should sue the hell out of whomever posted those photos on the web."
3. "Until you, no one had the guts to call the owner a bastard to his face."
2. "What time this morning did the paramedics dislodge the stapler?"
1. "Security! He's back!"

North and South Elves

The North and South Elves help Santa navigate to all the good little boys and girls homes on christmas. South says, "You betta be Good!!"

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas!

Includes: Tiny Tim singing "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"
more info @... http://sev.prnewswire.com/entertainment/20041110/LATU15909112004-1.html

Have a sit on Santa's lap!

Mosgiel, New Zealand - Organisers of a Christmas fete banned children from sitting on Santa's knee because they feared being held responsible if anything �untoward� happened.

Instead, the children had to sit next to him, on specially decorated "elf chairs", as they discussed their Christmas wish list. Graham Glass, who dressed up as Santa for the event, was clearly insulted. "It's bloody ridiculous - I can't believe we have become so politically correct," he said.

Plug pulled on Santa mail

For South African children there is no Santa Claus this year - and that's official. South Africa's Advertising Standards Authority has banned an advertisement for the country's Post Office that gave children an address to which to write to Santa Claus with their Christmas wishes.

In a ruling this week, the authority said the Post Office has been profiting from the natural credulity of children. It said the advert created the impression in the mind of the credulous child that, by writing to the given address, the child would then receive the requested presents.

The authority banned the advertisement, upholding a complaint that said it encouraged a falsehood that could break the fragile spirits of the country's already disillusioned youth.

...with leaders like that.. it's no wonder their youth are disillusioned!

Top Ten Signs The Stress Is Getting To Santa

10. He's begun selling elves on e-bay
9. Giving every child in world a broken Slinky and a card that reads "Go nuts"
8. Complaining that he's a grown man "surrounded by midgets and red-nosed donkeys"
7. Yesterday in a quiet ceremony, converted to Islam
6. Has been making personal appearances wearing Mrs. Claus's red velvet gown
5. After first "Ho..." often trails off into silence
4. Long rambling addresses to elves about black helicopters
3. His "Christmas carols" contain a lot of rhymes with the word "Nantucket"
2. Violated longstanding agreement by outing Blitzen
1. He's down to 530 pounds

Xmas card arrives after 10 years

A Christmas card sent from Zagreb has taken 10 years to reach its destination in Sesvete, 10km from the capital, just in time for Christmas 2003. "We wish you a Merry Christmas and a lot of luck and health in 1994. May there be peace in the region!" said the card, sent in December 1993, when wars were still raging in the territory of former Yugoslavia.

The surprise of the Pervan family was all the greater as their friend, identified as Amir, had died a few years ago. Kata Pervan told the newspaper that after receiving the card she thought at first it was a bad joke.

It was only later when she looked more carefully that she noticed the stamp dating from December 21, 1993. The Croatian Post did not explain the late delivery.

Broke Dad Makes Son PlayStation 2 For Christmas

DAYTON, OH�Determined to make his son's Christmas dreams come true despite financial woes, David McManus spent three hours in his garage Monday constructing a PlayStation 2 from scrap lumber and transistor-radio components.

"I can't wait to see the look on Andy's face when he unwraps this," said McManus, lovingly painting a "2" onto the front of the handmade video-game console. "I didn't get to sand the controllers as smoothly as I'd have liked, but still." McManus added that he hopes he can make a "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2" CD in time for Andy's birthday in March.

Top Ten Signs Your Wife Is Having An Affair With Santa Claus

10. She refers to your bed as "Santa's Workshop".
9. An elf comes by the house to drop off a pair of her earrings.
8. Your new baby has white hair and a beard.
7. She smells like a combination of peppermints sticks and reindeer chow.
6. Instead of mailing your children's letters to Santa, she just stuffs them in her bra.
5. Paramedics need jaws of life to get the two of them out of your chimney.
4. Lately, she's been commuting to work in a flying sled.
3. She keeps saying, "Not tonight -- visions of sugarplums are dancingin my head."
2. For Christmas, your kids receive something called, "The Your-Daddy-Sucks Doll".
1. During sex she shouts, "Ho, ho, ho!"

Man gives wife toilet seat as Christmas gift

LONGMONT, Colo. (AP) -- Gary and Karri Clark haven't forgotten their second Christmas together. He knew she wanted bathroom accessories, so he wrapped up a couple of gifts and waited. The toilet seat and towel rack didn't go over too well.

Karri Clark admits she wanted a new toilet seat a decade ago because there was a crack in the old one. She just didn't think she'd get one gift wrapped. "I could not believe it," she said. "What man gives you a toilet seat for Christmas?"

"Here I thought I was doing good," he recalled with a laugh. "It was something she can always use, day after day. It's the gift that keeps on giving."

Endless Christmas carols irk Czech clerks

PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) -- Labor unions in the Czech Republic demanded Monday that stores stop playing Christmas carols incessantly or pay compensation for causing emotional trauma to sales clerks. Some stores here play the same songs all day _ and play them loudly. Employees say shifts have become unbearable.

"To listen to it for eight hours a day is not healthy, that's for sure,'' said Alexandr Leiner, a union leader. ``And for the customers, it's almost unbearable as well.'' Leiner said unions have written to major chains, such as Tesco, and demanded that employees be compensated. He said the unions want 500 koruna (US$19) or two days off as a possible compensation. They've received no response. Unions in neighboring Austria have lodged similar complaints against stores there.