Hawaiian goddess Pele� places �Aloha Curse� on Rush Limbaugh

Breaking (Honolulu): Rush Limbaugh has had a curse placed on him for coming to Hawai�i. Limbaugh is now clinging to life at Queens Hospital after Pele' reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. �It is very possible he will die if he stays here any longer� said his publicist who is trying to re-book his return flight to the mainland. An unnamed local source said this happens very rarely and only to those who can�t comprehend the meaning of "Aloha", usually because their soul is so corrupt. Pele�, who normally lives on the Big island made a special trip after hearing of Rush�s �Vacation.� When asked if this will happen again, the goddess of fire responded �Let this be a wake-up call for Carl Rove, I hear he is coming this February!�

2009 Slam/Bam Award - Mitch McConnell, Corporate Whore

SLAM!

Mitch McConnell, Senate minority leader and corporate whore extraordinaire. Many can qualify for this title but only "Mitch the Bitch" has the power to obstruct more legislation in the name of big business than anyone else in the senate. If there was a better reason for term limits than getting rid of this modern day "Tweed" it escapes me. Most of all I feel sorry for everyone in Kentucky who have lost their home, their job, and have no health insurance, cause your boy is fucking you in the ass every day he stays in office.


The 2009 Slam/Bam Award is presented to the Best and Worst of our culture for the year 2009 according to extensive polling of the exceptionally intelligent and thoughtful fans of Sushi Bandit's Blog O' Rama.

Sarah Palin Shits on Kennewick, Washington

Breaking: Sarah Palin Quits Turkey Trot 5K Race In Kennewick, Washington

Sarah Palin dropped out of a 5k race on Thanksgiving Day in Kennewick, Wash. The former vice presidential candidate and Alaska Governor quit the race because she wanted to avoid the crowds that were waiting for her at the end.

Palin originally announced that she would be running the race on Twitter.

Fuckin Twitter Quitter..

.

Victory Over The Neocons!

Fucktard Ronald Regan

trying to figure out what to say....

Palin Pisses on Loren Leman, Alaska Family Council, and Pregnant Teens

Meg Stapleton, spokeswoman for an increasingly fragile and erratic unemployed publicity hound, had to once again explain at the very last minute how Sarah Palin would not be headlining an event that the event organizers thought she would be headlining.

This time it�s an event promoting an Alaska ballot measure aimed at making it illegal for teens to get an abortion without telling their parents. The Alaska Family Council has been advertising that Palin would give a speech and become the first official signer of the ballot petition tonight at ChangePoint, the Anchorage megachurch.

Meg Stapleton said Wednesday, in response about tonight�s event, that �this is the first we have ever heard of a speech.� She said Palin is out of state and won�t be there.

Anchorage homes received automated calls this week from former Lt. Gov. Loren Leman, saying, "I'm calling to ask you to meet with Gov. Sarah Palin and me this Thursday for an event to protect young girls facing abortion decisions."

I guess she is too busy writing her new book "How to take out Obama's Nazi-Socialist Death Panels from a Helicopter"

My Message to Birthers, Deathers, Tea-Baggers, and Town Hall Screamers

Sarah Palin Pisses On Ronald Reagan�s Grave

Sarah Palin is so super-maverick-y now that she won�t even honor her vow to make a speech at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where she was scheduled to speak at the Simi Valley Republican Ladies Group Fund-raiser for Republicans, a very widely reported exciting event that was to be her first public appearance since just quitting the governorship of Alaska because fuck those people, right?

The Ventura County Star reports: Just days after officially stepping down as governor of Alaska, former GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is dropping out of an advertised speaking engagement in Simi Valley �.

It was on Thursday that Palin�s spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton made public the news of the decision not to attend the event via Palin�s Facebook page. Up to 900 people were expected to attend the event at $100 a ticket for members and $150 for non-members, but media had been barred from the occasion.

Facebook! She fucks these people over via Facebook. She�ll probably take Bristol out of her will via Twitter.

Meg, Palin�s loyal nut-case sidekick and spokesperson, said Palin bailed this time because she has so much, uhm, work to do. Commitments, too. Work and commitments. Also. Says the Ventura paper, �It is unclear what those other work and commitments are.�

Hahahahah. Why does lazy quitter Sarah Palin hate Republican ladies? And why must she desecrate the grave of Ronald Reagan?

Eight go from White House to the Big House

Do you know how many former Bush administration officials have been sentenced with jail time? The answer is eight! here is the list (so far):

Felipe Sixto, special assistant to President Bush for intergovernmental affairs. He pled guilty to embezzling $600,000 from the Center for a Free Cuba, a government-funded program and received a 30-month prison sentence.

Scooter Libby, former Vice President Dick Cheney's chief-of-staff. He was sentenced to 30 months for his role in the leaking and coverup of CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity to the press. President Bush quickly commuted the sentence. How nice of him!

Brian Doyle, Deputy Press Secretary at the Department of Homeland Security, was sentenced to five years in jail for attempting to use a computer to seduce a child.

Dusty Fago, Executive director of the CIA, received a three year prison sentence on corruption charges.

David Safavian, General Services Administration Chief-of-Staff and head procurement official went to prison for 18 months on charges related to the Jack Abramoff lobbyist scandal.

Italia Federici, political aide to Secretary of the Interior, Gail Norton, received a two month sentence in a halfway house for obstructing the Senate investigation into Abramoff and for tax evasion.

Steven Griles, who was the number two official at the Interior Department, also received 10 months in jail for his part in the Abramoff scandal.

Bob Stein, the Comptroller of the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq, received the longest sentence of any Bush official (as of yet) - 9 years in prison for money laundering, conspiracy and bribery.

This is not counting all the other convictions that didn�t result in jail time and all the other investigations.

Tomorrow is National "Burn a Sarah Palin Picture Day"

We need a CLEANSING!!

Bill O'Reilly is a Falaphiliac

In Bill O'Reilly's latest sexual harassment suit it was revealed that he is obsessed with falafels.

So you may ask, what is falaphilia?

fa�la�phil�i�a (n)
1. Obsessive fascination with ground spiced chickpeas shaped into balls and fried.
2. Erotic attraction to or sexual contact with garbanzo beans, coriander, and cumin.
3. An abnormal fondness for being in the presence of middle eastern foods. Also called taboulehmania, hummulingus.
4. Sexual contact with or erotic desire for a falafel.