Shhh... I'm Watching Current TV

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TSA's New Book Series for Kids Just Released

Next in the series includes: "Why the scanner man want to see my butt", "Mommy never made the flight", and "Do you know any terrorists?"

History Lesson

click it to make it bigger

PlayMickey

It's what Walt wanted all along...

Open 24 Hours

God is Dead

New York (AP): Police today found God Jesus and his Mother Mary brutily shot in his upper east-side apartment. Police say they suspect it was either a mob revenge killing or a drug deal gone bad.

now get over it!

Proof that Smoking Stunts Your Growth

Bill, age 70 has been a 2 pack a day smoker since he was 4.

Not Mickey

Red on Red

Sorry!

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Photo of the New Apple Tablet

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When Greece was the Center of the World

things were so much simpler...

2009 Slam/Bam Award - Stupid Word Of The Year "Physicality"

SLAM!

"Physicality"

..a word used by people, especially sports casters, who are too fucking lazy to say "THEY HAVE A PHYSICAL ABILITY" to do stuff...

Anyone who uses this lazy, made-up word needs to re-take elementary school English or (even better) stop talking entirely.


The 2009 Slam/Bam Award is presented to the Best and Worst of our culture for the year 2009 according to extensive polling of the exceptionally intelligent and thoughtful fans of Sushi Bandit's Blog O' Rama.

A Christmas Story

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Two for Hell Please!

The fundie can't bare to look.

Why I was a Hippie

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Your Word for the Day

Words of Wisdom

nuff said...

Be My Bunny Now

Question, Answer

Why I Miss The 60's

go ahead click her... you know you want to!

Minnie and Micky in France

The Ultimate Upskirt

click me!

Generic Apology Card

Why I Hate the Freeway

What is Christianity?

The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree� yeah, that makes perfect sense to me.

What Religion Does To You

Mouse!

Question: Who is better looking?

Ann Margaret Or Elvis?

WTF? Another Lily Nip Slip!

When will it all end?

Turd Breakfast Bowl - New at Jack-in-the-Box

The picture on the wall in the restrauant looked so yummy. I mean look at it, diced sausage and bacon, cheadar cheese, potatoes and eggs. I thought to myself, "Yea, I could eat that".

This is what I got when I ordered my very first Breakfast Bowl.



At first I though this must be a mistake. Where is the cheadar cheese? What is all this white gooie stuff? and is this Rabbit poop on top? Are they trying to kill me??

...and then I remembered, this is Jack-in-the-Box. Should I expect anything more?

Lily's Back!

I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don't care about clever I don't care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them
And I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
Cause everyone knows that's how you get famous
And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And it's not my fault it's how I'm programmed to function
(lyrics by Lily Allen)

Lily Allen Loves My Gift!

and I Love Lily!

Return Lava Rock to Hawaii!

Here is a website that will help you with Pele's curse!http://www.volcanogallery.com/lavarock.htm

Some letters from rock takers who have returned them to Pele

"I have enclosed the lava rock I picked up along the road back from Hana almost five years ago. I have had such a difficult string of bad luck since that time. My family and I have experienced horrible disease, death, job loss, sexual abuse, financial troubles and depression since I mistakenly took the rock as a beautiful souvenir of a beautiful place. My daughter told me about the lava rock legend an has urged me to send it back. I hope that my luck will change once it is back in it's rightful home. I assure you, if I ever have the opportunity to visit Hawaii again, I will never pick up a lava rock again. I will also share the story with others. Gratefully yours, C.D., Davie, FL "

Woman married without her knowledge

A 22-year-old woman in Oslo was shocked when she received her divorce papers in the mail as she was not aware that she had been registered as married to a Pakistani man for a year.
The woman�s wallet was stolen in Oslo three years ago. She claims the man used her ID to arrange a fake marriage. According to the divorce papers, they got married at Islamic Cultural Centre in Oslo in November of 2002. The 22-year-old woman said she thinks the man used a Norwegian woman as a stand-in at the actual wedding ceremony.

�I�m in shock,� the woman explained. �I have never married and I didn�t understand what was happening.�

Imam Maulana Mehboob-ur-Rehman in the congregation said that they are very careful that the people who get married have their papers in order and has no idea how this could have happened. He said he thinks the man has tricked both the woman and the congregation.
The 22-year-old is trying to get the marriage declared invalid. She has filed a formal complaint, but the police have dropped the case because they have not managed to locate the man in question. The woman and her lawyer have not managed that either. The man allegedly operates with several names in Norway.

Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Touch With Mainstrem

NEW YORK�According to a study published by the Popular Culture Research Group Monday, the majority of American citizens are out of touch with mainstream American society.

"We're not sure, at this point, whether this is a new trend or a continuation of an old trend," PCRG consultant Paul Van Lamm said. "All we know right now is that 70 to 85 percent of Americans are unfamiliar with, unaware of, or just plain don't care about what the American people are watching on television, seeing at the movie theater, listening to on their radios, wearing, rooting for, falling in love with all over again, or downloading."

According to Van Lamm, 71 percent of U.S. citizens polled had no interest in NASCAR racing, America's fastest-growing sport. Van Lamm added that 69 percent of poll respondents said they did not have a single Hispanic friend, in spite of the fact that Hispanics are the nation's fastest-growing minority group. Additionally, the majority of poll respondents did not see the final episode of Friends, television's most-watched sitcom."It's disturbing," Van Lamm said. "I'm uncomfortable with the number of U.S. citizens who have no interest in what interests the greater part of their fellow citizens."

Stroke causes accent change

An American woman developed a British accent after suffering a stroke, although she had never been to Britain or followed British TV programs. When Tiffany Roberts, 57, recovered from the stroke she found she had an accent placed somewhere between East London and the West Country.

Even the pitch of her voice changed, becoming much higher than the deep Indiana drawl she once had. The dramatic change was even more surprising because she had no links with Britain of any sort. Doctors have diagnosed her with a rare condition called foreign accent syndrome, which is caused when part of the brain is damaged.

Roberts, from Florida, told American television: "People started asking me 'where in England are you from?' and a friend said 'why are you talking that way?' "That's when I became conscious that a part of me had died." Roberts has even picked up British slang using the word "bloody". What was once a "restroom" or "bathroom" has become the "loo".

Roberts has lived with the condition since her stroke in 1999 but decided to speak out now in search of other people who may be in the same situation. She said people accused her of lying or trying to be aloof by adopting the accent. Despite listening to a tape of her previous voice, she has been unable to mimic it.

Dr Jack Ryalls, of the University of Central Florida, who diagnosed Roberts' condition, described the change as a "phenomenon". It is linked to the damage caused to brain tissue during a stroke, but not fully understood, he said. Only a handful of cases of foreign accent syndrome have ever been reported.

The first recorded case was in 1941, when a Norwegian woman suffered a shrapnel injury to the head during an air raid. After overcoming language problems she was left with a strong German accent. In 1999 a woman from Sevenoaks, Kent, developed a French accent after a minor stroke even though she did not speak French and had only visited the country once for a weekend in Paris.

I wonder if she eating French Fries when it happened?

Supreme Court Gets Free Box Of Shoes After Mentioning Nike In Ruling

WASHINGTON, DC�The nine justices of the U.S. Supreme Court were treated to a free crate of athletic shoes Monday, following an offhand mention of Nike during a ruling in the case of McBrayer & Company v. The City Of Detroit.

"All I did was say that the claims made by the defendant were similar to those made by Nike when defending labor conditions in its Asian footwear factories," Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said. "Next thing you know, we get this big box of red Air Zoom Spiridons in the mail. Inside the box was a form letter from Nike's publicist. Sweet!"

The Supreme Court will begin its new session Oct. 6, with Case 03-130: Sony High-Definition Widescreen Televisions v. Fossil Sterling Silver Multifunction Watches v. Bombay Sapphire Gin.