What Happens After You Die

Life After Death

R.I.P. GeoCities

GeoCities, a free Web hosting service that achieved fame in the mid-90s, died Thursday at the Yahoo headquarters in Silicon Valley. GeoCities was 15 years old.

GeoCities had suffered a long and drawn-out battle with its health over the past decade. An antiquated service model and outdated technology are widely blamed for the struggle. An official cause of death, however, has yet to be determined.

GeoCities is survived by two cousins, Angelfire and Tripod, along with an Uncle, Jeeves. All three are believed to be terminally ill.

No drinking in the mourning, say priests

Downing pints of beer and telling blue jokes at funeral services will no longer be tolerated by Roman Catholic priests in Ireland.

In a move aimed at halting the growing trend towards "a la carte" funerals, mourners have been warned against placing photographs and football shirts on coffins. The worst examples of inappropriate behaviour during services that have been cited by priests included the drinking of cans of beer in memory of the deceased during one eulogy, and a display of women's underwear on a coffin on another occasion.

One eulogy was even delivered in the style of a best man's speech, complete with risque jokes. But now the National Centre for Liturgy, which looks after church rituals, has announced moves to curb such irreligious behaviour. Its spokesman, Father Patrick Jones, said the guidelines were intended to promote best practice rather than tell relatives how to grieve.

This year, pop songs were given the boot from weddings in County Kerry, in the south-west of Ireland. Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, from the film Titanic, and the song Angels by Robbie Williams had been popular requests.

One word for this �BORING!�