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Sarah Palin Shits on Kennewick, Washington

Breaking: Sarah Palin Quits Turkey Trot 5K Race In Kennewick, Washington

Sarah Palin dropped out of a 5k race on Thanksgiving Day in Kennewick, Wash. The former vice presidential candidate and Alaska Governor quit the race because she wanted to avoid the crowds that were waiting for her at the end.

Palin originally announced that she would be running the race on Twitter.

Fuckin Twitter Quitter..

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What is Christianity?

The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree� yeah, that makes perfect sense to me.

What Religion Does To You

Sarah Palin Pisses On Ronald Reagan�s Grave

Sarah Palin is so super-maverick-y now that she won�t even honor her vow to make a speech at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where she was scheduled to speak at the Simi Valley Republican Ladies Group Fund-raiser for Republicans, a very widely reported exciting event that was to be her first public appearance since just quitting the governorship of Alaska because fuck those people, right?

The Ventura County Star reports: Just days after officially stepping down as governor of Alaska, former GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is dropping out of an advertised speaking engagement in Simi Valley �.

It was on Thursday that Palin�s spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton made public the news of the decision not to attend the event via Palin�s Facebook page. Up to 900 people were expected to attend the event at $100 a ticket for members and $150 for non-members, but media had been barred from the occasion.

Facebook! She fucks these people over via Facebook. She�ll probably take Bristol out of her will via Twitter.

Meg, Palin�s loyal nut-case sidekick and spokesperson, said Palin bailed this time because she has so much, uhm, work to do. Commitments, too. Work and commitments. Also. Says the Ventura paper, �It is unclear what those other work and commitments are.�

Hahahahah. Why does lazy quitter Sarah Palin hate Republican ladies? And why must she desecrate the grave of Ronald Reagan?

Cheating SC Gov says God will "Make Him Better"

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, still clinging to office after admitting to an extramarital affair, wrote in an opinion piece released Sunday that God will change him so he can emerge from the scandal a more humble and effective leader.

So God will change him? Into what??

A bigger dick then he already is?
A better lier so he wont get caught again?
A circus clown so no one will recognize him in SC? (wait, that doesn't work anymore)
A heap of gelatinous goo?

I vote for Goo!

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