Hawaiian goddess Pele� places �Aloha Curse� on Rush Limbaugh

Breaking (Honolulu): Rush Limbaugh has had a curse placed on him for coming to Hawai�i. Limbaugh is now clinging to life at Queens Hospital after Pele' reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. �It is very possible he will die if he stays here any longer� said his publicist who is trying to re-book his return flight to the mainland. An unnamed local source said this happens very rarely and only to those who can�t comprehend the meaning of "Aloha", usually because their soul is so corrupt. Pele�, who normally lives on the Big island made a special trip after hearing of Rush�s �Vacation.� When asked if this will happen again, the goddess of fire responded �Let this be a wake-up call for Carl Rove, I hear he is coming this February!�

Mele Kalikimaka

I guess this package sums-up the year. I tried to make it nice and white but blood got spilt in the process...

Why I Live in Hawai'i - Part 2

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Why I Live In Hawai'i

It's raining... who cares?

NCAA Women�s Volleyball Selection Committee needs an Enema

OK, Who is paying you off?

You seeded Hawaii #12 in the tournament. A team that was ranked #3 by the American Volleyball Coaches Association.

That�s right the COACHES! You know, those who just might know who is realy good? Oh, forget them, they don�t know shit! So, who the fuck paid you off? Florida State? Stanford?, or was it ESPN?

How can you rate a team that only lost 2 games all year and beat your number #4 seed Stanford in 3 games as a #12?

It�s obvious; you have to be taking money from somebody. Maybe it�s USC! Cause that�s where Hawaii has to play now. On the home court of the lame 21-9 Trojans. Not at the Stan Sherriff Center that has the largest volleyball crowds and one of the winningest teams in the nation.

Bottom line, the NCAA selection committee need an enema, cause they are full of shit!

P.S. let's give a big "Screw You" to the following people:

Terry Gawlik, University of Wisconsin, Madison, chair
Christine Dawson, Pacific-10 Conference
Cindy Gannon, American University
Keith Gill, University of Wisconsin, Madison
Nona Richardson, University of California, Davis
Janie Penfield, Brigham Young University
Laura Tietjen, Kansas State University
Crista Troester, University of Tulsa
Dawn Turner, Big South Conference
Diane Turnham, Middle Tennessee State University

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Dave Shoji gets 1,000 Wins

University of Hawaii woman's volleyball coach Dave Shoji gets number 1,000! After defeating New Mexico State Dave is Lei'ed, crowned, and silly stringed by his number 3 ranked Rainbow Wahine squad celebrating last night in Honolulu.



way to go Dave!

Surfs Up?

bottom line... your fucked..

My Airline Had to �Re-Boot� it�s Airplane Today

So we are all sitting on the tarmac on Maui after the mule pushed us away from the gate awaiting the short flight to Honolulu. But why aren�t we going anywhere? We�re just sitting. Five minutes become ten minutes and not a word from the cockpit. Then we saw several fire trucks come across the field. "It looks like they are heading our way!" WTF! Is the plane on fire? Should we get ready to evacuate? Then they drove right past us to the other end of the airport. Whew! They were only on a training exercise.

So now the pilot comes on the PA. �Sorry folks but our computer has a glitch and we need to re-boot the plane.� Re-boot the plane? Now that is a first for me. He continued, �we will have to shut down all the systems and re-start them in sequence.� �It should only take ten minutes and then we will be off to Honolulu.�



Sure enough that�s what they did. The engines went off, the AC shout down and it got real quiet. Then things started to hum and blow again and our Mokulele Airlines Embraer �E-jet� flight MW203 was off! I gotta admit the plane is new and very cool. Since it uses fly-by-wire technology it makes sense that they needed to re-boot it. My only hope is that they never have to re-boot in the air!

I wonder, do they still call it a �Cockpit� if there is a lady pilot?

Obama Shaka

Things I learned this Christmas holiday�

1. I always end up with the least amount of gifts. ALWAYS
2. It never seems like the holidays when you live in Hawaii. It�s just too warm.
3. Israel always has a shooting war with the Palestinians during Christmas. I think they do it because they know the Christians aren�t paying attention.
4. The same relatives always send their Christmas gifts late. Maybe we should drop Christmas and just celebrate New Year�s instead.
5. Every time I hear �Kwanzaa� I think of a �Quonset Hut�
6. Nobody wants fruit cakes anymore.

Return Lava Rock to Hawaii!

Here is a website that will help you with Pele's curse!http://www.volcanogallery.com/lavarock.htm

Some letters from rock takers who have returned them to Pele

"I have enclosed the lava rock I picked up along the road back from Hana almost five years ago. I have had such a difficult string of bad luck since that time. My family and I have experienced horrible disease, death, job loss, sexual abuse, financial troubles and depression since I mistakenly took the rock as a beautiful souvenir of a beautiful place. My daughter told me about the lava rock legend an has urged me to send it back. I hope that my luck will change once it is back in it's rightful home. I assure you, if I ever have the opportunity to visit Hawaii again, I will never pick up a lava rock again. I will also share the story with others. Gratefully yours, C.D., Davie, FL "