Gator and Child

Young Vader

where are my fries?!

Proof that Smoking Stunts Your Growth

Bill, age 70 has been a 2 pack a day smoker since he was 4.

Japanese Brat

The Sushi Bandit as a Boy

Wait till Mom see's what I got!

Favorite Food

Gee Mom, this Spaghetti is fuckin great!!

My First Girlfriend

Disneyland on a Leash

How would you feel after you get to Disneyland's main gate only to realize that your mother has just put a leash on you? I would be crushed and pissed, just like this little girl.



I know the leash is hard to see but if you click on the picture it will become obvious. Note the mothers 1974 fashion of the day, high waisted bell-bottoms, tied blouse and leather pouch purse.

Let's Pretend

That I can see your boobs!

Disaster Girl

Belive me, you don't want her to show up!

What I got for my Birthday

This is so cool.. I can see naked ladies!!

Budding Surgen

We cut here... then here..

Fun Food for Kids

It's Link from the Legend of Zelda!

Desert Tongue

Just Deserts

Family Portrait

Tell me it ain't so!

The New Shirley Temple

This girl is tooooooo frickin cute! Please note: I never - ever do cute stuff, but I had to make an exception here. Apologies to all my Goth friends.

7-Year-Old Loses Respect For Shrek

KANSAS CITY, MO�Cale Parnell, 7, said Monday that he no longer holds Shrek in high regard, ever since the green ogre started appearing in TV ads for Burger King Kids Meals.

"Shrek just wants to sell things and make money," Parnell said. "He doesn't care if kids like me are having fun." Parnell added that Shrek is "just like that stupid money-grubber SpongeBob SquarePants."

6-Year-Old Cries When Told MTM Productions Kitten Dead By Now

RYE, NY � Following a WKRP In Cincinnati rerun Monday, 6-year-old Megan Connor was devastated to learn that the mewling orange kitten in the MTM Productions logo has almost certainly been dead for years.

"All I said was that that kitten was around back when I was a kid, so it probably died 15 or 20 years ago," said father Bruce Connor, 39. "Now she won't come out of her room." Megan's parents plan to forbid Megan from watching Family Ties reruns for fear of having to explain the whereabouts of Ubu.

Boy gets stuck in supermarket game machine

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - A 7-year-old boy had to be rescued with the help of a locksmith Saturday after crawling into a supermarket's stuffed animal game machine while his father talked on the telephone.

"He was sitting right in there with the stuffed animals," said Shift Commander Mark Zittel of the Sheboygan Fire Department. He said the boy, whose name was not released because he is a minor, crawled through about an 8-inch-by-10-inch opening to get into the glass enclosure via a chute where the toys come out, but when he tried to get back out his way was blocked.

The stuffed animals are prizes that can be hooked by players with a crane-like device.
"His dad was three feet away at a pay phone," Zittel said. "He was talking on the phone and he said the next thing he turned around and the kid was in the thing." He said the boy stayed calm and didn't panic as firefighters responded to the Piggly Wiggly store and then moved the game machine to the back of the store and got a locksmith to open the main loading door. The process took about an hour. "There was no panic," Zittel said. "We could have broke the glass if there was an emergency."

The boy was not injured or traumatized but desperately had to go to the bathroom, he said. But rescuers hadn't figured out how the boy was able to crawl into the game, or why no one in the store's busy lobby spotted him and stopped him before he got inside.

Teacher suspended for hanging 'brat' upside-down

YOKOHAMA -- A Kanagawa Prefecture public elementary school teacher has been suspended for one month for holding a boy upside down as he carried him over a pedestrian crossing, education officials said.

The 11-year-old pupil sustained injuries to his neck and ankles, causing him to miss 10 days of school, but his absence was prolonged even further because he developed a fear of the 54-year-old teacher who punished him. "We would like to deeply apologize to prefecture residents," a spokesman for the Kanagawa Prefectural Board of Education said. "We want to thoroughly instruct our educators so that this sort of incident does not occur again."

Board officials said that while on an excursion on Oct. 7, the boy persisted in trying to climb up the side of road signs, constantly ran out onto the road and repeatedly acted in a dangerous manner. The teacher warned the boy about his behavior several times, but the pupil from a public school in Ebina, Kanagawa Prefecture, ignored the teacher and persisted in messing around. Finally, the teacher bent down and grabbed the boy's ankles, flung him upside-down and carried him across a pedestrian crossing. He then slapped the boy to the face several times and dragged him for some distance by the scruff of his neck.

My Hero!