Houston, We Have A Problem

Father Shows Me Where I Was Born

Roadtrip

Why I Don't Live in San Francisco

God: How did you die?
Answer: While driving my VW in Frisco I came to a stop light at the top of the hill. When the light changed I tried to put it into 1st gear, but before I could, it rolled back into the bay and I drowned.
God: Your stupid, go to hell.

Why I don't go to Sea

Japanese Pussy

How a French Lady gets on a Bike

Note her stylish Cashmere sweater...

My Airline Had to �Re-Boot� it�s Airplane Today

So we are all sitting on the tarmac on Maui after the mule pushed us away from the gate awaiting the short flight to Honolulu. But why aren�t we going anywhere? We�re just sitting. Five minutes become ten minutes and not a word from the cockpit. Then we saw several fire trucks come across the field. "It looks like they are heading our way!" WTF! Is the plane on fire? Should we get ready to evacuate? Then they drove right past us to the other end of the airport. Whew! They were only on a training exercise.

So now the pilot comes on the PA. �Sorry folks but our computer has a glitch and we need to re-boot the plane.� Re-boot the plane? Now that is a first for me. He continued, �we will have to shut down all the systems and re-start them in sequence.� �It should only take ten minutes and then we will be off to Honolulu.�



Sure enough that�s what they did. The engines went off, the AC shout down and it got real quiet. Then things started to hum and blow again and our Mokulele Airlines Embraer �E-jet� flight MW203 was off! I gotta admit the plane is new and very cool. Since it uses fly-by-wire technology it makes sense that they needed to re-boot it. My only hope is that they never have to re-boot in the air!

I wonder, do they still call it a �Cockpit� if there is a lady pilot?

My Last Train Trip

Don't get Fucked by Global Warming!

Take advantage of the rapid warming of the world by investing in Sub-Antarctic island property! Just think, that desolate, windblown penguin populated rock in the middle of nowhere in a few years become your personal tropical island! Imagine yourself King or Queen over a the next century's hottest commodity, virgin, unspoiled and unpopulated land.

You can now own Kerguelen Island Real Estate!

Kerguelen is also known as Desolation Island and is part of a group of islands in the southern Indian Ocean. There are no trees or shrubs on the island and is only populated by 50 very horney French researchers, birds, seals, and those always hilarious penguins! Activities abound. You can name a glacier after your favorite dog. You can participate in the islands famous sport, being blown over by the wind.. and dont forget there are no cars, planes, or boats that bring those pesky tourists. And as an added bonus, if you bring a gun you'll have your very own army!

Just visit this website for more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerguelen_Islands on how you can own your very own Sub-Antartic Isle!

Oh, and here is a personal blog about someone living there now (at least I think he is still alive) http://cancerofthethirdeye.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_archive.html

The Reason why so many Pakistanies Die in Train Crashes

Man goes down toilet

A man trying to fish his mobile phone out of a commuter train toilet got his arm stuck, forcing the train to stop and causing delays throughout the New York rail system. Thousands of commuters were delayed and several trains were rerouted while rescue workers tried to pull him out.

The train was held at a station after a passenger heard 41-year-old Edwin Gallart's cries for help, Metro-North Railroad spokesman Dan Brucker said. When train workers failed to pry Gallart's arm free, police officers and firefighters were called in to use a blowtorch to break apart the stainless steel toilet.