Now Thats One Happy Groom!

No drinking in the mourning, say priests

Downing pints of beer and telling blue jokes at funeral services will no longer be tolerated by Roman Catholic priests in Ireland.

In a move aimed at halting the growing trend towards "a la carte" funerals, mourners have been warned against placing photographs and football shirts on coffins. The worst examples of inappropriate behaviour during services that have been cited by priests included the drinking of cans of beer in memory of the deceased during one eulogy, and a display of women's underwear on a coffin on another occasion.

One eulogy was even delivered in the style of a best man's speech, complete with risque jokes. But now the National Centre for Liturgy, which looks after church rituals, has announced moves to curb such irreligious behaviour. Its spokesman, Father Patrick Jones, said the guidelines were intended to promote best practice rather than tell relatives how to grieve.

This year, pop songs were given the boot from weddings in County Kerry, in the south-west of Ireland. Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, from the film Titanic, and the song Angels by Robbie Williams had been popular requests.

One word for this �BORING!�